Adults who don’t have an autism diagnosis can struggle to deal with holiday stress, so if you have a child diagnosed with autism, it’s important to plan for handling all the stresses and excess sensory stimulus that comes along with holiday season. The lights, music, rich foods, sweet smells, and hugs from distant family members that many of us look forward to during the holiday season are all experiences that people with autism may view negatively. Still, you don’t want your child with autism to miss out on all the fun and time with family, so what do you do? With a little extra planning and preparation, even the most raucous family gathering can be an enjoyable holiday experience for a child with autism. Keep reading to get some recommendations for helping your child with autism have an enjoyable holiday season.
Get Ready Before the Big Day
Well before your holiday gathering, you should start preparing your little one for the event. Tell them all about the foods, people, and activities they can expect. Let them ask as many questions as they want. As an example, if your extended family is going to share a holiday meal, you can practice with your child leading up to the big meal. Start with just the immediate family members they are used to seeing every day, but include special foods, decorations, or other items. Then, expand the dinner table to include a friend from school or a neighbor. Leading up to the holiday meal, you can consider inviting several people to join your family for dinner. Let your child get used to the experience of sharing a meal with more than the usual number of people. You can remind them during these meals of how many people will be at the holiday dinner, so they can build appropriate expectations.
Plan for Stress
Despite your plans and preparations, it’s still likely that your child with autism will experience some level of stress. You should have a plan in place to help them handle this stress. Bring along noise canceling headphones, eye masks, and other sensory deprivation items that offer your child comfort from outside stimulus. Find quiet places your child can retreat to if they feel overwhelmed. Most importantly, know your child’s limits. If they are struggling, it may be time to go home. Don’t plan to spend a whole day in a boisterous environment. Instead, create a holiday plan that allows for plenty of rest and relaxation.
Surprises are another fun element of the holidays that can be troubling for kids with autism. You can make a schedule and prepare your child for planned holiday events, but what about family members who show up at the last minute? Even receiving gifts can be very triggering for a child with autism. Put kids at ease by reminding them that these experiences happen once a year. Many kids with autism respond well to being able to plan for the time they will be able to go home. Give them a watch or let them use a phone or tablet to remind them when you plan to head home from the event.
Make Holidays as Comfortable as Possible
In addition to preparing your child for the holiday and planning to handle stress, make sure your child is as comfortable as possible at all times. Let them wear their favorite outfits and bring along toys, blankets, pillows, and other comfort items that will be soothing at high stress times. Many people look forward to the once a year special foods only eaten at the holidays, but for kids with autism, all the strange foods can be a bit much. Encourage your child to try out holiday foods, but make sure you have some of their favorites on hand as well.
Decorate Conscientiously
Holiday lights, tinsel, figurines, and other decorations are a fun and festive reminder of the holiday season, but for kids with autism, they can be overstimulating. You can’t necessarily control the decorations in stores, schools, and other places your child visits during the holidays, but you can help them get used to decorations at home. Start by allowing your child to be involved in the decorating process. Don’t bring everything out at once. Instead, introduce decorations a little at a time. If your family puts up a Christmas tree every year, this can be a good opportunity for gradual decoration. Start by putting up just the tree. The next day, you can add lights. White lights may be preferable, and you should almost certainly avoid blinking or strobe-type lights. Once the lights are on your tree, try lighting them for just a few minutes at a time to let your child get used to the appearance. On the following day, add ornaments to the tree. Make sure to include your child with autism in the decoration process, allowing them to pick out ornaments and put them on the tree.
Plan for Stress-Free Shopping
Holiday shopping is unavoidable for many people, but it can be very stressful to kids with autism. Many stores participate in sensory-friendly shopping days, Santa events, and other holiday activities geared toward kids at all ability levels. You can find many of these events online, but if you need help tracking down sensory-friendly holiday activities, don’t hesitate to reach out to the Northern Colorado Assessment team. We’d be happy to provide a list of local resources.
Involve the Whole Family
If you’re hosting a holiday party, it may be easier to ensure the decorations, music, and other festivities are friendly for your child, but if you’re visiting loved ones at the holidays, it’s important to include the whole family in planning and preparation. You can create a list for your loved ones of things that might be triggering and ways to improve the holiday experience for your child. However, the only behaviors you can control are your own. Ask your family members to get involved with planning autism-friendly holiday activities and meals but know you can’t control every situation.